Liz and Anne’s Story

91 year-old Gordon Shaw had always been a keen gardener who was particularly proud of his tomatoes and vegetables, and he was also very handy around the home. As a talented joiner and carpenter he’d built conservatories and kitchens for his family – nothing was too much trouble.

When Gordon lost his wife of 62 years in 2019, sadly he never really got over the loss. He’d always been pretty fit and healthy, but following a fairly routine operation in October 2021, he never fully recovered and his health began to deteriorate quite quickly.

After a short stay in hospital Gordon’s family – daughters Anne and Liz, and son Pete – were shocked when he was referred to Dougie Mac. They were aware that their Dad wasn’t well, but had never imagined that he needed the care and support of the hospice.

Anne and Liz explained, “Although Dad suffered from asbestosis he’d never needed oxygen, he’d always been so fit and well. So when we collected him from the hospital and they handed us some information about Dougie Mac, we were in total shock.

“Initially, and reluctantly, we got in touch with the hospice at home team who arranged fortnightly visits to see Dad at home. Knowing that we had someone we could contact, no matter what time of day or night it was, was an absolute lifeline. The team were so reliable – if they said they’d call us, they would, we never had to chase them. The support we all received was great.”

Gordon’s health declined quite quickly and when his own GP went out to see him over the Easter weekend, he was shocked to see the decline in him and how much weight Gordon had lost. Dougie Mac’s nurses began to visit Gordon more often and spoke honestly with the family to explain that sadly he only had a short time left.

Anne and Liz added, “We asked the nurse to be honest with us and she said that Dad only had a matter of weeks left. We all spent a lot of time together and took turns to stay with Dad whenever we could, making sure that he was never on his own. The Dougie Mac nurses explained what all his medications were for and it was a comfort to us that Dad wasn’t in a lot of pain.

“On the weekend before Dad passed away, we all sat together watching the snooker on the TV, it was a really special time. When Dad’s breathing started to slow, we phoned the hospice and asked someone to come out to us and Tracey, one of the lovely nurses came to Dad’s house.

“Tracey was an absolute angel. The compassion she showed to Dad was wonderful. She talked to him with such care and even took the time to straighten the collar on his pyjama jacket – it was only a small gesture, but it was so important to us and we’ll never forget it.”

Over the next few days, members of Dougie Mac’s Hospice at Home team cared for Gordon in the comfort of his own home.  At one point the family were struggling to arrange for a priest to visit Gordon, whose religion had always been so important to him, so one of the nurses started making calls to find a priest who would be able to visit. Thankfully the family’s own priest was able to visit.

Liz and Anne added, “The most important thing for us was that we could all be with Dad, at home, which is where he wanted to be. There weren’t any restrictions on who could be there, the whole family, as well as friends and neighbours were able to visit him to say goodbye. Dougie Mac gave us the chance to be together as a family.

“And, because the Dougie Mac nurses were there to take care of Dad’s medical needs, we were all able to focus on being his family, not his carers. They helped us to talk to Dad and explained that he could still hear us, so we shared happy memories and talked about family holidays.”

The sisters were getting some much needed rest when Gordon’s condition worsened and one of the Dougie Mac nurses, who had been sitting with him, gently woke them to say that he only had a short time left. The sisters were able to say their goodbyes as Gordon passed away. The nurse stayed with them and continued to support the family, giving them time to grieve and helping them to make the initial arrangements for their Dad.

Anne and Liz said, “It was Dad’s wish to be at home when he died and Dougie Mac made this possible. The support was like having a huge comfort blanket wrapped around us, we knew that they were there for us, no matter what we needed. At times when we were angry and times when we were upset, the nurses from Dougie Mac were there for us and knew just what to say to help us through such an incredibly difficult time. They were angels. We’re so grateful to everyone from the hospice who not only cared for our Dad, but also cared for our whole family.”