Rob’s Story…

Rob met Emma completely by chance on a busy train. They got chatting about music and travel and hit it off straight away. Although they lived in different parts of the country, and came from very different worlds, they started dating and married in 2016. Together they lived life to the full.

Rob explained: “We always tried to do as much as we could, our motto was ‘if we can do it, let’s do it’. Em always seized the day, she was professional but fun and quietly got on with life, she didn’t need any validation. In her 20s Em had written a ’50 things to do by 50’ list, which included snowboarding, a skydive and travel to certain places, but also simple things like learning to wire a plug – she ticked 45 items off her list.  

“She loved her job as a Chartered Accountant and went on to become International and European Finance Director at a global veterinary pharmaceutical company. She loved the job as it enabled her to see more of the world. 

“We married in 2016 and this year (2026) would have been our 10^th wedding anniversary, as well as Emma’s 40^th birthday. We had a venue booked for a joint party, but instead it became a celebration of her life.”

Emma had suffered back pain for some time and was awaiting test results when she developed pneumonia and was rushed into hospital.

“It was a horrible, horrible time. Thankfully a consultant on the respiratory ward realised there was an underlying problem. After more tests Em was diagnosed with cervical cancer, with a secondary spread to her lymph nodes and liver. They told us she had just months to live. We were devastated.

“She stayed in hospital for a short time and then tried to go home, but she just wasn’t well enough. We went back to the hospital where they said that she had a very short time left and she could either stay in hospital, go home or be referred to Dougie Mac. We chose Dougie Mac.

“I’d heard about Dougie Mac and knew it was well-regarded locally but hadn’t had any personal experience of the hospice. We arrived in the hospice and Em had her own room, overlooking the gardens. Suddenly everything was calm. Em was comfortable, secure and safe. From the first minute everybody was fantastic.

“The doctors were so empathetic and caring, they listened to us and gave their time. The nurses were happy to support us and allowed me to care for Em. She enjoyed massages with the complementary therapist, she found them so soothing and relaxing and would usually be asleep afterwards.

“I was able to be with her 24/7 for four weeks, they gave us the space to have our time together. There were no restrictions on visitors, so Em’s parents and my daughter could visit any time. It was so dignified. Em was so brave and courageous in facing her illness, her approach was ‘If this is the end for the life I’ve lived, so be it. I wouldn’t have changed a thing.’”

Emma passed away in November 2025, she was just 39 years old.

When Emma first became ill, Rob wanted to do something special for her to show the couple’s love. Having been involved in bands since the 90s, and because of their shared love of music, Rob decided to write a song for Emma.

“One night while Em was first in the hospital I went home and picked up my guitar. The song came to me in about 20 minutes. Fortunately I had a contact at a recording studio in the US so I reached out to them to ask if they could produce the song for me and thankfully, they agreed, so I gave them two reference tracks, a demo, lyrics, arrangement and structure.

“As Em became more unwell, I explained the need to get the song completed as quickly as possible. So, while she was sleeping, I was often in touch with the studio making changes to the track. I had initially hoped to record the lyrics myself, but that became impossible, so I asked the studio to find a vocalist. A few days later the track was finished. I was able to play it for Em, with her parents and my daughter by her bedside. She loved it and told me to share it with the world.”

Rob has now included the song on an EP along with two other songs, one previously written reflecting their attitude to life, Live Today Today and one about Em’s final days at Dougie Mac, The Leaves of You. And, along with his band The Sicknotes, Rob recently organised a gig in memory of Emma, to raise money for Dougie Mac.

Rob added: “Emma was our number one fan, always there for our gigs, dancing in the crowd and singing along.  I wanted to do the gig for her and play all the songs that meant so much to her. It was so emotional, but everyone has been so generous and supportive and the band have been amazing. Through pre-sales of the EP – and from donations in support of the memorial gig – we’ve raised more than £7,000 to say an overwhelming thank you to Dougie Mac.

“Throughout Emma’s illness everyone was so supportive. Everyone from the kitchen staff and housekeepers to the doctors and nurses, the fundraising team and wellbeing support, they all came together to support us.  

“Since Em died, I’ve been seeing a Dougie Mac counsellor every week, which has helped me to navigate my grief so much. My counsellor has been incredible. People ask me if it’s hard to come back to the hospice, but it’s not, it’s actually like having a huge comfort blanket wrapped around me. Em got exactly what she needed from Dougie Mac and that’s the most important thing – we would have been lost without them.”