Meet Malcolm and Joy

Malcolm Sargeant, 80, was diagnosed with dementia two years ago and now attends the Dougie Mac Dementia Services social group in Biddulph, along with his wife Joy, 77.

This is their story…..

“I met Malcolm on a bus trip to Blackpool, and he followed me around all day – although he says I followed him,” laughs Joy. “I always joke if only I’d gone to Southport that day!

“Malcolm started to forget things about three years ago which we put down to his age. We were on holiday with friends and one of them suggested we go to the doctor as her husband had been diagnosed with dementia at the age of 54.

“We went to the GP and Malcolm was referred to the memory clinic where he couldn’t do some of the tests. He was diagnosed with mild cognitive behaviour but a brain scan later revealed he had early dementia.

“As well as memory loss, he has also lost his appetite and one of the symptoms he has is mood swings and irritability. His bad moods can last up to a week.

“He was always laughing, joking, outgoing and jolly. He still is to some extent – especially when we are with other people – but he does have mood swings at home which can be difficult to deal with.

“We used to go to Torquay on holiday each year and to the same pub at night as we loved the music. I found a programme on TV about old bands from the 60s and 70s and put it on for Malcom as he likes music, but he didn’t know any of the bands.

“That’s sad and upsets me because it’s my best memories and I can’t share them with him. I have noticed a big difference with him over the last two years and it’s sad to see.

“He stopped driving, and I don’t drive, so now we get the bus which can be difficult and is stressful.

“I can’t sleep, and I don’t eat a lot and that worries Malcolm because I have emotional stress. It can be difficult, but I don’t think of myself as Malcolm’s ‘carer’. I’m his wife and have always cared for him.

“Joining the Biddulph dementia group through Dougie Mac’s Dementia Services team (formerly Approach) has been amazing. We were never the sort of people who would join groups to meet other people and when the doctor referred us via Approach, Malcolm was very reluctant to go.

“Now, he loves it and always asks when we are going. He loves meeting other people in the group and doing the word search. I am still learning about his condition and if I didn’t have the group, I would be in panic mode not knowing what to expect but speaking to other people in the group – patients and carers – I now know what to expect. It’s so much easier going on this journey with other people who are also on it. It really is such a wonderful group.”

Malcolm said: “Sometimes I get annoyed because I can’t remember things, but it is what it is. I know I have the best person behind me – my wife.”