Meet Laura…

“Mum was diagnosed with her brain tumour on her birthday, April 5^th. She was treated with steroids and we returned to the hospital on April 26^th to receive the news that treatment was not recommended. The Royal Stoke referred us to Dougie Mac.

“Mum was supported at home initially. This was invaluable. Due to the cognitive difficulties she was experiencing my brother Paul and I were granted Lasting Power of Attorney and we had a significant number of varying professionals to liaise with. This was incredibly challenging and it was the support of Kate, our Dougie Mac Community Nurse Specialist, that guided and navigated us. When others were slow to respond or support, Kate was always there and if she wasn’t available any member of the team took responsibility for supporting us. With all other agencies I felt in ‘battle’, like I was having to fiercely advocate for what Mum was entitled to, yet with the Dougie Mac team I felt I had a team, they cared and took ownership, they supported me with Mum. I felt a lot less lonely.

“Kate and the team supported us to understand the progression of Mum’s illness and prepared us for the next steps. Mum moved to the hospice on May 31^st and from the moment she arrived I felt at ease. The whole team were ALWAYS there for us – anytime of day or night. They were consistent, professional, kind, and compassionate. I am not sure there are enough words to explain what an incredible impact they all had. 

“I became her daughter again the moment we arrived at the hospice. Not a carer, not a physician, not an advocate – a daughter. For the 5 weeks she was there I observed the most, patient, kind and respectful care of Mum. When she was in pain, someone came immediately; when she asked for anything or needed anything, she received it. I had complete confidence that she was being cared for in the way that I would have cared for her. That seems like a small statement but it was profound, as it allowed me to just be her daughter and be with her and love her.  

“Paul and I stayed alternate nights and were at the hospice continuously for 5 weeks, and EVERY staff member offered us the same exemplary care. They supported us to enjoy the laughs and nurtured us through the tears. They supported us in exactly the same way Kate did, with time, reassurance, explanations and compassion.

“Mum died peacefully and with dignity. What a remarkable thing to be able to say. How many people can say that the last few weeks with their loved ones was peaceful and nourishing? Because of Dougie Mac we had time, I felt I could be with her; she was my only focus because everyone else in the team was doing their part so spectacularly. I will be always, eternally grateful for that gift. No one asks for this journey, yet to come out of it feeling like it was the best it could have been is something exceptional in my view. 

“Even over the last year as I have attended each time for bereavement support, I pull up with a peace, knowing that the reception staff will know who I am and will greet me with a smile and sincerity, that they will ask how I am and really want to know the answer, they remember our wider family and ask about us, I feel I belong and that didn’t pass with Mum. It helps me feel connected and know that I really was in a team. 

“Ruth, my counsellor, has been a lifeline. My grief was overwhelming. In July last year I felt I was holding off a tsunami with only a skateboard for support. Yet Ruth has patiently and kindly counselled me to be able to get to know my grief and be less fearful of it. Mum was such an incredibly special human. Her absence from our lives is catastrophic, our bond was palpable and at times I have felt sure I wouldn’t be able to manage. But I have, and because I have trusted Ruth. For what felt like the longest time I saved my grief up, feeling like Ruth was the only person I could share it with and she has guided me, very patiently, through this journey and I would attribute this last year to her very compassionate guidance.”